Notes on Procrastination That I Promised I’d Do Yesterday

“I’m not lazy. I just want things done right.”

The subtitle of this piece flew out of my mouth while I sat at my desk this week, surrounded by my work — the stuff I do to pay the bills, and the stuff I’m doing for me and you. And every piece of this work is shipped only after a heavy application of reason and courage has allowed it to slip from the grip of my ego — a real sick bastard that makes every effort to convince me that whatever i created is not good enough yet.

When you think of a perfectionist, it’s difficult not to conjure up an image of an A+ student who leads an Indiana Jonesian quest for extra credit every semester. Or maybe Martha Stewart in her heyday, before the jailtime and weed smoking with Snoop. But there is another strain of this virus (timely metaphor achievement unlocked!) that goes largely undetected. It gives your mind — that thing that protects you from harm via the unknown — the greatest solution to any challenge:

Fuck it.

Those afflicted with this virus participate only when they are certain to excel. To them, if they can’t be the best in the game, then there is no point in playing. I sometimes call this “predictive perfectionism.” I like to call it that because alliteration is a useful tool in keeping people engaged in short-form essays. Like this one. You’ll get more of these tips in an e-book I should probably write. But not right now. Let me wrap this up.

When we’re sick with the pursuit of perfection — the totality of it all, the exhausting demand to be great at everything — we tell ourselves that “is not worth it,” and ask “what’s the point?” But when we see this in others, we often “hope” that they will one day get their life together. To realize their potential. To stop “being lazy.” Even when we want to quit trying, we don’t let the rest of the world off that easy.

But we could all use a break, couldn’t we?

Originally published at https://brandonanderson.me on January 29, 2021.